Fatal Bonds
by blinkie
Summary: Originally a oneshot Shien Nataku fic but now will be a series of vignettes focusing on the theme 'fatal bond'. CHAP 2 UP Doku and Gojyo's fatal relationship as brotherenemies. lost love has never been so bitter as this. NOT yaoi.
1. Shien and Nataku: Master and Servant

**Author's Note: This is a Shien-centered fic, mostly in his POV. Interesting to note in episode 42 ("Festival") is the guilt Shien feels for Nataku's 'coma'. This fic aims to explore Shien's relationship and perspective on Nataku. **

This is NOT the true story of Shien. I made up some of the parts. ^_^

I wanted to make this a shounen-ai fic, but Shien doesn't seem to in such. ^_^

Standard disclaimers apply.

**FATAL BOND**

** By blinkie**

**SCENE 1: GOD vs DEMON**

1.** Descent: Your Fate has been Sealed**

"Tentei has issued the order. Nataku is to subdue and seal Gyumao. We shall descend tomorrow, first light of dawn."

"Li Touten-sama, what is the use of bringing the entire army if it is only Nataku who will fight?" 

"That is the way it has always been, and always should be." 

"Gyumao is a most fearsome opponent. It is my humble opinion that the Heavenly Army assist Nataku-sama in this mission." 

"Noble as your proposal is, I reject it. I don't want any more questions. Understand, soldier?"

"…Hai."

2. Battle

Black clouds race in the deepening purple of the sky. Soon darkness would fall. Whether it is a storm or the sunset, I care not. I just wish it comes soon. I wish for the darkness so I would not see the mute pleas for help in those golden eyes.

3. The Beginning of Corruption; Curse

Blood soaks the ground; god-blood and demon-blood. The blood reaches deep into the core of the earth; the ground is muddy from it. Pollute the land, corrupt it, turn it barren. It is cursed from now on. Nothing shall grow in this land of silent tears and anguish. This is just the beginning of my vengeance.

 Nataku-sama, I pray, do not die on me. I want you to be there to witness my wrath against those who enslave you, for I dedicate it to you.

                        ** * * * * * * * * * * * * **

**SCENE II: IS THIS TRULY HEAVEN?**

1. Dead Gatekeepers

I ask politely but they would not allow me into your room. They say you need to rest, for you are badly wounded.

I tell them I merely want to check on you. As second-in-command of the Heavenly Army **[1], I have a right to do so. I ask them politely.**

They say there was no need, you were fine and well-taken cared of. I could see they were both becoming increasingly agitated as I persist, still ever so politely, despite my own growing frustration.

They would not allow me in, so I kill them. I think that's perfectly legal. Technically, fighting gods ARE exempt from the rule of 'no-killing.' I don't know if the rules have changed, though.

But if they have, it feels good to be breaking the rules for once.

2. Alone

My face contorts in disgust as I step into your room. It was as cold as a tomb here, and you didn't even have any blankets. 

Liars. Well-taken care of, huh? They didn't even change your bloodstained robe! What sloppy caregivers! Now I feel even more justified for killing them. Rid the world of scum such as them.

Curled up in that fetal position, you look ever so much like the true child you are: innocent, vulnerable, fragile. Perhaps your subconscious is trying to reveal the real you? Perhaps. Realistically speaking though, it is more likely that you are merely trying to ward away the chill of the room.

As I gaze at you, my heart aches with deep sorrow at the cruel hand that fate has dealt you. 

I dress you in new garments. You look so much better now, though your skin was cold.

I search for a blanket. Finding none, I stripped my robe and lay it over you. The cold instantly chills my exposed chest. I don't mind. Better me than my prince. 

**                         * * * * * * * * * * * **

**SCENE III: THE DAY THEY TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME**

Another mission. Another massacre cloaked in the twin veils of retribution and justice.

We descend with uneasy souls. Nataku is not with us. He has yet to recover from his last encounter.

Today, Homura's skills shall be tested.

**                         * * * * * * * * * * * **

**INTERLUDE**

And we dedicated the battle to you, but you were gone when we returned; an empty victory it turned out after all.

                        *** * * * * * * * * * * * **

**SCENE IV: LEAVING**

1. Farewell

A tentative knock on the door. "Shien-sama? It is time to leave now. They are waiting for you."

I keep silent. 

Footsteps shuffle uncertainly outside the shrine. I could just imagine the owner of those footsteps reach out a hand to push the door open, then hesitate as he realized the profanity of his action. Only a select few were allowed inside the shrine. 

Realizing he would continue disturbing me until I said something, I finally reply:

"A few more moments, please."

"But.."

"Give a doomed man his final wish."

"…Hai."

The footsteps shuffle away, as if sensing the need for utmost privacy in this last moment of intimacy. 

I utter a prayer of thanks and turned my attention back to the figure seated on the throne before me. "How could they do this to you? If I knew it would end this way, I never would have left your side." I bow my head in remorse. "I'm sorry, Nataku-sama. I'm sorry I wasn't there, and I'm soon going to leave you again. I'm leaving now. And…" I hesitate, wanting to add that I will come back eventually, but somehow unable to find the words. Instead, I say, "Goodbye, my prince." Kneeling, I kiss the unmoving hand of the boy. I rest my lips on the hand longer than necessary, trying to feel for the least sign of acknowledgment or recognition. Receiving none, I swallow hard to prevent the grief inside me from spilling over. I leave the room with nary a backward glance.

2. Trial

 "You are charged with two counts of murder. You have broken the fundamental rule of no-killing. What do you have to say in your defense?"

"They deserved it."

I heard the hall murmur in dismay, yet I stood firm on my conviction.

"How can you say they deserve it? Is it not Tentei who decides these matters?"

"I think Tentei is incapable of such. If indeed he decides who should live and who should die, those two should not even have been born."

"How impertinent of you."

I kept silent.

"Do you not repent for your sin?"

"No."

"This is your final chance, soldier."

"They deserved it."

"Very well. Shien, you are guilty of two counts of murder. Banishment shall be undertaken immediately."

The hall was shell-shocked. The sound of my proud footsteps as I was led out of the hall filled my world. 

**                        * * * * * * * * * * * **

**SCENE V: REFLECTION**

This is not as bad as I had feared.

Banishment from Heaven is deemed by most as a fate worse than death. I have thought so too. I always thought banishment was tantamount to damnation. Now I realize it is actually freedom. Freedom from hurt, from coerced obedience. 

Perhaps if you were still with me, I would fiercely fight to stay in Heaven. Imprisonment in the deepest, darkest recesses of the prisons would be preferable, for I know you would visit me. But you are not with me anymore. 

And as I stand in this shining radiance of the earthly golden sun, I recall a promise I made to you in the land where god-blood and demon-blood melded in a sad embrace:

_Vengeance shall be mine. _

And I dedicate this to you.

~END~

**Notes: **

**[1]- I don't know if this is true. I got the idea after watching episode 41, "Collage", wherein Nataku returns from the battle with Gyumao. Immediately behind Nataku, Shien follows, leading the Heavenly Army into the gates. I figured Shien must be an important person if he is at the vanguard of the procession. If anyone would confirm this, I would be very glad. ^_^**

**A/N**

It has always been my dream to write a Shien fic, and I've accomplished it now. If you are going to review, criticisms are welcome, just please be gentle with them because I consider this my "baby". 

On a lighter note, "Coercion" IS an ongoing fic. Forgive me if I haven't updated in the longest time. I could not find the right inspiration for it. 

This was dedicated to **enervate and**** Mrs. Nadir Rusalki. Thanks For the support. Without you, this wouldn't have been possible. Also, to all the Shien fans out there ^_^**

I hope you enjoyed reading! 


	2. Gojyo and Dokugakuji: BrotherEnemies

**Author's notes: **'Fatal Bond' was supposed to be a one-shot Shien fic. Obviously, that's not the case now. I renamed the fic 'Fatal Bonds'. This will be a series of vignettes with the theme (you guessed it) 'Fatal Bond'.

The Shien part will comprise chapter 1. Chapter 2, which is this chapter, is about Dokugakuji and Gojyo's relationship. This hypothetical situation happened during the Sanzo-ikkou's journey to the west. You'll get the rest of the story as you read ^_^

Standard disclaimers apply. 

**FATAL BONDS **

**Chapter 2**

I never thought I'd see him here again. Fei-san's bar, the old town, just like the old days. Same place, and apparently the same drinks. That is, if that bottle he's holding onto is a beer. 

My own whiskey in hand, I approach him. I stood a respectable distance behind his bar stool.

"Gojyo."

He froze. I saw the stiffening in his shoulders and neck. I saw the long fingers tighten around the neck of the bottle. I did not prod him further. I know this is a surprise for him.

Seconds dragged to a minute.

Finally, without turning to face me, he whispered hoarsely: "Why are you here, Dokugakuji?"

It was my turn to keep silent. And he kept silent too.

Likewise, seconds melted to a minute.

_Why was I here?_ Perhaps what my brother really wanted to ask was, "Why did you _have to be here when I'm here, Doku?" That much was obvious in his voice. _

_Why was I here?_ I have a right to remember my mother's death, right? 

 "Not Dokugakuji. Jien," I chided him softly, still waiting for his invitation to sit down.

"…Jien," he repeated after another excruciatingly slow minute. He gestured to the empty stool beside him, and I took it gratefully. 

After a long stretch of silence, I said, "You remembered her too?"

"No," he replied. "We just happened to be passing by this town. It's just coincidental."

"You lie."

I observed the sudden tensing of his back, shoulders squaring. His chest began to heave up and down. I warily set my glass on the bar, readying myself in case he did something stupid.

He set his glass on the bar with a heavy _thunk__! And his head dropped into his waiting hands. He held that position for a long time. I relaxed and waited for him to calm down._

At long last, he turned to face me, tears glistening in the depths of his pained eyes.

"How could I forget, Jien? This is the day our lives were shattered. This is the day I lost everything important in my life."

I waited for him to continue.

"Why did you have to kill her, Jien?" 

"We've already been through this before," I replied, turning away from him.

"But why?" His pleading whisper tugged at my heart. I had no choice but to answer him.

"You still don't understand until now? I had to protect you from her. She almost killed you."

"I understand, but I can't accept it," he whispered. "By killing her, you killed yourself too. You never should have killed her. That way you'd still be my brother."

_Oh. Now THIS was something new._

"But…I **AM** still your brother, Gojyo." 

"No, you're not Jien anymore. Jien is dead. You're…Dokugakuji." He said my new name with a tinge of sadness.

"That doesn't matter, Gojyo. I still love you as before. And I would never dream of hurting you intentionally."

"But don't you realize the tragedy of the situation? You bow down to whatever Kougaiji says. And if he says you have to kill me, you'd be following his order, not your own will. So you WILL hurt me someday, Jien." 

I paid little heed to the bitterness in his voice as he uttered my prince's name. Instead, I lightly punched him on the shoulder. "Are you afraid of that day, bro?" I teased.

He smiled back. "No. I can easily handle an old geezer like you. But," he cast his eyes downward, "I want you back, Jien." 

"Gojyo…" I was at a loss for words. A dam of sorrow was threatening to drown me.

"But I know you won't ever come back. You can never protect me, be there for me."

I shut my eyes tightly. "Don't do this, please." 

But he was persistent. "Is this karma? Is a taboo child truly cursed? I lost the only two people I've ever loved in my life. And I don't know what hurts more: the death of '_kaasan__ in my name or the continued existence of a brother who has turned into an enemy. Truly, I don't know what hurts more."_

"I had no choice, Gojyo," I whispered. "Don't you know that it was instinct that drove me to do that? That the only thought going through my mind at that time was to protect you at all costs? Stop it now, Gojyo. Don't force me to regret a choice that I have always, and will always, uphold with a clear conscience."

My little brother fell silent, and the silence magnified the sadness in the air such that it was thick enough to cut with a knife. Again, seconds dragged into so many minutes. We nursed our drinks in silence, neither wanting to say anything for the fear of opening old wounds. Finally, I stood.

"Coming here was a mistake. I'd be leaving now, Gojyo."

"…Matte." He gripped my forearm.

So I waited.

He looked at me straight in the eye. "I….miss you. I wish things…had turned out differently." He released his grip on me. "I just wanted you to know that."

I swallowed the sudden onrush of grief. No use breaking down in front of him. No use telling him of all the days and nights that I longed for him. Not just his company, his brashness, his presence, but _him. It would only make matters more difficult for both of us._

"And I miss you too, Gojyo." 

He smiled, an open innocent smile that made my heart ache even more. "I'm glad to hear that. Until I see you again, Jien."

"Yeah, Gojyo."

I reached out and brushed a lock of his red hair out of his eyes. A tear threatened to spill down his cheek as he sat there, trembling, pained memories of the past shadowed in his haunted eyes.

I suddenly lost appetite for my whiskey.

I turned and left without a backward glance.

Such is our fate: to live in the comfort of each other's unwavering love, but a love that is separated from devotion. 

I know that if ever I choose to protect him once more, I'd have to die another death. 

But a person can endure only so many deaths. 

~END Chapter 2~

**Author's Note: **This is like those 'spot-the-differences' things in the newspapers. Did you spot the 'fatal bond' here? If you didn't even think of looking for it, well…now you know that there IS a purpose to such a title. This fic will be a series of vignettes with the theme 'Fatal Bond'. Any suggestions for the next chapter?

Gomen if you think Doku and Gojyo were OOC. ^_^ I hope you liked the story! If you would be kind enough to review, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks ^_^

Luv,

blinkie


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